A Matter of Perspective

I read about the following story in a Chinese paper available for free from a local oriental grocery store.

A couple went searching for an apartment to rent, with a kid in tow. After covering a substantial area, they finally came upon one that they liked: spacious, quiet, and within a good school district. However, they were dumbfounded by the owner’s sole condition, that no kid is allowed.

Just when they were about to leave to continue on their apartment search, the kid knocked on the door. Seeing the same family at the door, the owner reiterated the same condition of no kid in his premises.

"I have no kid, only my parents," the kid explained.

And guess what? The owner agreed.

And the moral of the story? Many obstacles in life only appear so when viewed from a fixed perspective, much like you can view a half glass of water as half full, or half empty, or a crisis as a danger or opportunity, as famously characterized by its twin-Chinese character counterpart, which literally comprises danger (the top) and opportunity (the bottom).

To my mind, this is neither shifting stands nor compromising principles, which only amount to something if they are followed even when inconvenienced. It is also not glib talk playing on semantics.

Often, a lot of things that have not gone our way, that we have been wronged, that we have been unfairly dealt with, are mere inconveniences in the global scale of things. Places like Dafur where everyday is a fine balance between life and death; the tsunami-stricken coasts where having a roof over one’s head is a luxury; and in war-torn regions where dodging a bullet or navigating a mine field is the primary concern.

So next time when you seem to hit an impasse, when all seem lost, be appreciative of what you still have, and whom you still can turn to. Or when you feel slighted, outraged at being bypassed, pay heed to this anecdote in the book The 360degree Leader: Developing your influence from anywhere in the organization by John C. Maxwell:

Someone asked the composer and conductor Leonard Berstein which instrument was most difficult to play. Berstein responded, "Second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who can play second fiddle with enthusiasm -- that's a problem."

Maxwell says, "The whole secret [of paying second fiddle] is to think influence, not position." It means changing from a mindset of "I want a position that will make people follow me" to "I want to become a person whom people will want to follow."

A change of perspective, a mental one, will go a long way in finding gems in your seemingly lost life.